Sometimes, Listening is the Answer

Instagram: @RUOKDay 

Shoutout to my former self for not admitting that I wasn't happy when only two of my friends asked me if I was. Damn, I was foolish back then. I really tried to convince myself that I was but couldn't bring myself to be honest.

However over the years, I have made attempts to a few people to tell them I was struggling. Some responses were straight up invalidation and dismissed my struggles (even before giving me a chance to speak).

But what really upsetted me the most was when a few other people I tried to reach out to simply suggested to "just go get a boyfriend", "get a rich husband and you won't have to worry about anything" or "get a boyfriend so you can stand there and look pretty." I kid you not, people have said that to me. It's an absolute cop out!

I know love makes the world go round but I can assure you, this is NOT the solution to your struggles. Even for someone like me who wasn't in a healthy mind space knew that.

It's been ingrained in us since at a young age that having a romantic partner is the ultimate goal and is a success indicator. Seeking a relationship to validate your worthiness while you have low self-esteem and no sense of self awareness is not the way to go. Giving someone else the responsibility to make you feel happy and secure cause you're insecure by yourself and fear being alone is pretty selfish. Defining yourself via your relationship status will lead to unnecessary problems.

Love yourself first. Self awareness is most important. We weren't taught this growing up. It's no wonder people become co-dependent and fall into toxic relationships. This applies to both genders. It's time to unlearn the whole romantic fantasy idea of being in love and empower more self love and emotional intelligence. It's absolutely crucial regardless of being in a relationship or not.

Anyways, if someone is reaching out and admitting they're struggling, most of the time, they just want you to give them a safe space for them to talk and for you to listen without judgement. No need to find a solution right away. It really is that simple.

If you or anyone you know needs help. The following support services are available. Contact: 

• Lifeline Australia on 13 11 14
• Kids Help Line on 1800 551 800
• Mens Line Australia on 1300 789 978
• Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467
• Beyond Blue on 1300 22 46 36
• Headspace on 1800 650 890
• Reachout Australia at au.reachout.com

IF IN IMMEDIATE DANGER, DIAL 000

Lots o' Love, Linda

Tired of being strong, please let me be weak for a minute

Instagram: @beyondblueofficial 

When I recently opened up to two separate key people in my life about my depression, both never saw it coming nor had any suspicions. For some reason, I didn't think I was disguising it THAT well. I guess it was cause for the most part, I continued to get dressed, go to work, put on makeup, eat regularly, leave the house, go to places, keep in touch with loved ones but at the same time, my mind was deadass disordered. Most of my symptoms appeared behind closed doors away from the world to see.

And then it starts showing up externally. My performance was slipping but it was mistaken as laziness. My lack of communication and socialising was mistaken for being busy. Just goes to show how prevalent high functioning depression is and how easily it is to overlook possible warning signs, cause for the most part, it's harder to detect.

Those who are dealing with high functioning depression usually look like they have it all together on the surface. They carry on with work, socialise and get things done but mentally, they're struggling, big time. Eg: celebrities.

Allow this to prompt you to check in with all your loved ones (yourself included)! Don't wait till R U OK? Day 12 September 2019 to start a conversation! And most importantly, listen. 

And definitely see your doctor. I've learned more about myself and mental health since the start of my healing journey with a professional than a few YouTube videos from influencers with 1 million followers sharing their experiences and suggestions, cause our life experiences and how we respond to things are all different. And don't forget, depression ain't the only mental health disorder!

If you or anyone you know needs help. The following support services are available. Contact: 

• Lifeline Australia on 13 11 14
• Kids Help Line on 1800 551 800
• Mens Line Australia on 1300 789 978
• Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467
• Beyond Blue on 1300 22 46 36
• Headspace on 1800 650 890
• Reachout Australia at au.reachout.com

IF IN IMMEDIATE DANGER, DIAL 000

Lots o' Love, Linda

World Refugee Day 2019

On World Refugee Day, I'm sending thanks to the REAL MVPs.

• Former Prime Minister, Gough Whitlam for abolishing the White Australia Policy and embraced a multicultural Australia.

• Former Prime Minister, Malcolm Fraser for respecting international obligations and implemented a refugee policy to resettle Indo-Chinese refugees into Australia. The influx of these refugees post White Australia Policy was the first real test to multiculturalism and since then, Australia has become more diverse than ever.

• My refugee family resettled into Australia under Prime Minister Bob Hawke so thank you for continuing Fraser's legacy in responding to humanitarian crises with commitment and compassion.

• Fraser was a Liberal during his leadership; he however defected in later years and heavily criticised against the Liberal government's inhumane treatment to current asylum seekers and refugees. And damn, our government is despicable.

If it weren't for the significant work from these former leaders, I literally would not be here today, in Australia, enjoying my freedoms and human rights. These are basic and intangible but precious things that I hold dear, especially when so many people around the world are legit risking their lives to fight for their freedom and human rights.

I will continue to watch our government like a hawk and stand in solidarity with all those displaced; asylum seekers and refugees, regardless of their race and beliefs. 

Also importantly, I will treat them with respect as humanitarian migrants, not economic migrants.

Lots o' Love, Linda

Share a Meal, Share a Story

 

When we look back at refugee success stories, we tend to look towards no other than Cabramatta aka "Vietnamatta". Infamous for being the enclave of Indo-Chinese refugees. Also infamous for being a crime zone during the 90s cause refugees were forced to go into survival mode, perhaps due to government policy failure. Very pleased at how much the community here overcame adversity to build a new life for themselves and improved their public image as a refugee community.

Let's not forget that this didn't happen overnight. It took years... decades. I must mention this because I think it's incredibly unfair to expect current asylum seekers and refugees to have English communication skills, be "job ready" and to have a job offer right off the bat upon arrival to their new resettled country (and then have Australians complain about refugees "stealing" their jobs).

I also think it's unfair to expect asylum seekers and refugees to be super smart, super human, super productive and super successful to prove themselves to be "worthy" and valuable to be granted asylum.

Over recent years, I've gotten into discussion with a few first generation immigrant friends, only to find out how much they hate refugees. Refugees get blamed for everything. Little did they know that I'm a daughter of one... and damn proud of it too! No shame!

Hope everyone takes the time to understand what it means to be an asylum seeker and a refugee. No one actually chooses the circumstances to become one.

Lots o' Love, Linda 

Refugee Week 2019

In honour of Refugee Week (#withrefugees), I want to thank this Australian gentlemen pictured in the middle. 🙂

He played a key role in helping my Vietnamese Boat People fam integrate into Australian society. I believe (but could be wrong) that he was a part of Australia's Community Refugee Settlement Scheme (CRSS) which was Australia's first community sponsorship model which ran from 1979-1997.

Community groups and everyday individuals offered to initially support the resettlement and integrate 30,000 refugees from Indo-China (Vietnam, Cambodia and Laos), but later expanded to include all refugees from other parts of the world.

Australia no longer runs this program but is currently running a Community Support Program (CSP) which is much more flawed and in much need of a reform since it prioritises economic factors instead of humanitarian needs.

The government should really consider more options for community involvement and sponsorship to resettle refugees, in addition to its committment and responsibility to the refugee and humanitarian program.

Let's always remember that asylum seekers and refugees are not the same as economic migrants, so shouldn't be treated as such.

Lots o' Love, Linda 

Swallowing My Pride

Mindframe 

So in late Feb/early March, with a little push from my bro, I finally decided to swallow my pride to seek professional help about my mental health. I've been struggling for some time now (4+ yrs) and even though I recognised the signs of mental health risk, I forced myself to suffer in silence and battle my inner demons alone.

I'm very well aware that I'm not the only one who has problems nor do I think I have it the worst, but the stigma around mental illness was and still is very strong. No matter how much my mental health was out of whack, I completely underestimated its effects of leaving it unaddressed or untreated.

My past attempts of reaching out to "friends" about it all backfired cause they trivialised how I felt or what I was going through, even before giving me a chance to speak. Been told things like: 

"you're not the only one who has problems",

"if you think you're the only one who has problems then all the best in life to you", and

"if you hear about my problems or what I've been going through, then you will realise that your problems aren't so bad." 

Even toxic positivity thoughts like "just think positive" is damaging. Because of these responses, I was reluctant to open up and then eventually led myself to a depressive disorder.

I really wish I was one of those mentally stable and strong people who can overcome depression or mental health issues without professional help, but I'm not one of them.

My biggest regret is not seeking help a lot earlier. I also regret not continuing my counselling sessions at the age of 17 when I had a sudden breakdown. When I saw people in my grade literally laughing at the idea of counselling, it prevented me from speaking to the counsellor again. Would've made a huge difference to my first few years post-highschool.

If and when you're struggling, please speak to someone you trust. If you can't, I highly encourage you to speak to your GP. You also don't need a "valid" reason or apparent justification like experiencing a tragic or traumatising event. Nor do you need to be in really bad circumstances. Nor do you need to be at crisis point. It doesn't have to make sense.

Lots o' Love, Linda

Straight Outta Cabra

Friendship Arch / Pai Lau, Freedom Plaza, Cabramatta

After reading and listening to many (and I mean, many) other people's shocking stories about growing up Asian in Australia or America and the bullying they copped on the regular simply for being Asian, I've realised how fortunate I was to have a different experience. Growing up, I thought multiculturalism was everywhere in Australia. Little did I know that I was actually a part of an ethnic minority because I was never made to feel that way. I guess I was sorta in a bubble? I only started realising this well into my teenage years. I also only started feeling the effects of racism towards Asians or minorities after highschool.

Super grateful that I grew up in a diverse community that made up of not only South East Asians but also a good mix of white, Spanish, Serbians, Middle Easterns, Pacific Islanders, Italians and Greeks, just to name a few. I never felt alienated or ashamed of my heritage despite Cabra copping heaps of racism back in the day. In fact, there was plenty of Asian pride (*cough* AzN PriDe). I had classmates of different backgrounds and maintained my Vietnamese roots via Vietnamese school, as well as cultural and community events.

Even though it looks like I grew up in an Asian enclave at first glance, the Fairfield - Cabramatta area felt more diverse than any other area in Sydney. Pretty sure I would've had a completely different (and more marginalised) experience growing up somewhere else. And for that, I will never be ashamed of telling people I grew up in Fairfield - Cabramatta area and will always be proud of my Asian ethnicity.

Lots o' Love, Linda

Growing up Asian Australian Tag

Inspired by the "Growing up Asian American Tag" on YouTube, I've decided to have my input in my perspective growing up as an Asian Australian. 

So, here it is; 

Which ethnicity are you? 

Vietnamese 

Which generation are you? 

I was born in Australia but my mum was born in Vietnam. So, I'm guessing my mum is first generation Vietnamese Australian and I'm second-generation. If I'm wrong, please feel free to correct me.

What is the first experience where you felt that demarcation of being a minority/different? 

I grew up in a very immigrant heavy community so I guess I didn't really feel indifferent. It's only when I reflect on the past and see in some instances where I could've felt that way but didn't affect me much at all. 

For example, I spent about a year of my childhood residing in an area which was dominantly Anglo-Saxon, where my family was the only Asian family living in my street.  A year after, I moved to a community where I had more access and had a closer connection with the Asian community. I didn't really notice it then, but looking back at my early primary school photos, there was a good balance between Asians and non-Asians. Growing up having Asian neighbours and Asian friends throughout primary and highschool meant I didn't feel to much of an outcast at all. 

However, I guess I can recall the first time I felt like a minority was my first highschool camp at the end of year 8. The camp was based down the south coast, 2-3 hrs away from Sydney. That was when I began to notice that us Asians were the minority Australians. 

Were you always proud of your heritage or was there a time you rejected it?

I was very proud of my Vietnamese heritage, and still am to this day. I don't think I ever rejected it growing up. 

What are some stereotypes that you struggle with? 

The stereotype that "all Asians are smart at maths" was probably what I struggled with the most. I guess I was pretty average growing up. I was a little slower than most of my Asian peers during primary school, whilst I was just average throughout highschool. I was never in any of the advanced maths classes, nor did I study 2 unit maths for my HSC. And I was always the slowest in my tutor classes. 

Can you speak your language?

Very brokenly. I attended Saturday Vietnamese school for a few years, and was fortunate to have extra Vietnamese language classes that was made available during the week at my primary school. Hence, I am able to read and my writing isn't too bad, but my speaking skills are pretty poor. I won't be able to have a full conversation in Vietnamese without throwing English terms along the way. And, I would struggle badly when it comes to interpreting. 

How has being Asian Australian affected your relationship with your parents? 

Even though I went to Vietnamese school and could speak and write basic Vietnamese, the language barrier was (and still is) the biggest setback that has affected my relationship with not only my mum, but also my aunties and uncles. My mum speaks very little English so it's hard to have a conversation about anything really. It's hard for my mum to understand me because of my inability to communicate any concerns or have any discussion about my thoughts and the events in my life. So, more often than not, there is some misunderstanding between the two of us. I'm pretty sure it would be a very different and a much stronger relationship if we could just both communicate in the same language. 

I also feel like a huge disappointment to my family because of this. 

How do you feel about your heritage now? Do you identify with it?

I love my Vietnamese heritage. And yes, I identity myself as Vietnamese but more specifically Vietnamese Australian. However, I still get conflicted between the two. Sometimes, I am made to feel like an outcast in Australia only because of my Asian image despite being born and bred in Australia. Meanwhile, I would also feel indifferent in the motherland Vietnam, because of my lack of speaking skills and different upbringing. 

What is your favourite thing about being Asian Australian/your heritage? 

Other than my appreciation for Vietnamese cuisine, and the fact that a lot of Vietnamese have common surnames (despite being unrelated - hello Tran and Nguyen!), I also deeply appreciate the Vietnamese history. 

The Vietnam War and the ultimate outcome of it played a huge effect on my mum's life experience. I have a big appreciation for my mum's refugee journey. And, have an even bigger appreciation for the former late Prime Minister, Malcolm Fraser for implementing a refugee policy that allowed my mum as well as many other Vietnamese refugees to settle into Australia. I have a huge appreciation for the former South Vietnam flag because not only does it represent my mum's former homeland that doesn't exist anymore, it represents the Vietnamese refugee community. 

Being born to a former Vietnamese refugee who started afresh in Australia gained me more awareness and have more empathy for the current asylum seekers and refugee crisis that we are currently facing. 

It's safe to say that I hit that ultimate jackpot the moment I was born here in Australia. It definitely is a privilege to be Australian and having the childhood that I had will always be my treasured memories.

And, I can't finish this without a special mention to Cabramatta. Although notorious for being the heroin epidemic ghetto in the 90's and blaming the Asian community for its social issues, I'm proud how far Cabramattta has come since those days. 

I will never be ashamed of being Vietnamese-Australian.

Lots o' Love, Linda 

Mama's Great Escape

As a daughter of an immigrant (or more specifically, a refugee) and being far removed from my mum's life experiences, anything to understand her life, heritage and journey is important to me. 

All kinds of feels when I visited this very spot where my mum, aunty and cousin began their refugee boat journey to escape Vietnam's Communist regime during the 1980s. 

So, this would have to be one of the most significant and memorable experiences during my previous trip to the motherland, Vietnam.

It takes another level of courage to put your life at risk to jump on a fishing boat at night with no certainty that you will make it alive on the other side. I understand that many Vietnamese didn't make it through their journey to freedom. So, I can't begin to fathom on what they had to endure during the whole ordeal. 

It always make me wonder how different my life could've been if it wasn't for my mum's bravery. Who knows, aye? Would I even be here at all? 

My mum, aunty and cousin landed in Malaysia where they stayed in a refugee camp before they were accepted into Australia. So, thank you to the late former Prime Minister, Malcolm Fraser, whom at the time implemented a refugee policy that accepted them and resettled them (along with thousands of other Vietnamese refugees) into Australia. 

For that, I am grateful. 

Lots o' Love, Linda 

Decluttering...

It's been three years since my last post about cleaning out my closet. I have found myself back at square one, where I have accumulated even more stuff since then as I developed unhealthy and irresponsible shopping habits over the years, which then meant more clutter and stress. 

I'm actually very disappointed that I let myself to relapse like this but this time, it's easier to let things go. It took me a while but I had to be brutally honest with myself and asked "am I really gonna wear this again?", and when the answer was no, it had to go. 

So, I asked myself the following questions;  

• Does it suit my style?

As I've grown a little older and a little bit more wiser (and a little wider), I've realised that my style has definitely changed. I am no longer into patterned prints, bright colours or excessive florals that used to overflow my wardroble. Those fleeting trends that seem to be on trend one minute then completely forgotten the next minute don't appeal to me (eg: ruffles, gingham print, peplum, platform pumps). 

I'm trying my best to steer away from fast fashion in the attempt of being more socially aware of its impact. I'd rather stick to core, solid, staple and classic pieces that I know that I'd still be rocking years down the track. 

Classic pieces over fleeting trends, always. 

• Does it fit properly? 

My body weight and figure had fluctuated over the previous years, which is why I end up having so many different sized clothing. I had accumulated clothing that ranged from AU size 4 to AU size 10. I even had the bad habit of buying clothes that weren't my size, just for the sake of having it (which was probably just an ego thing - irresponsible shopping). 

Now, that I'm a little older, I'm seeing changes in my body. And, instead of beating myself up about it, I have come to acceptance that I just can't fit into some of my clothes anymore.

So, there you have it. I ended up donating my pre-loved items to my local thrift store, which I really hope they get more love. Some of these are items I've been hoarding for 10 years. It's still an ongoing process though, cause I still have too many things.

Nevertheless, it's a small but proud moment to finally let these go.  

Lots o' Love, Linda 

Refugee Week

Cousin, Aunty, myself and Mother 

As a proud daughter of a (former) refugee and in honour of Refugee Week, a big THANK YOU goes out to my mum, aunty and cousin for their bravery in search for a better life. 

They were a part of the mass exodus that resulted in the years after the Fall of Saigon or Fall of South Vietnam. Risked their lives to escape the reunified Vietnam's communist regime by fishing boat to find refuge in a foreign country they knew nothing about and started afresh. 

I wouldn't be here today enjoying the basic human rights that so many people take forgranted if it weren't for them. And a big shoutout to the late Malcolm Fraser for having the compassion big enough to take them in. 

If only we had more compassionate politicians today. 

I stand with refugees. 

Lots o' Love, Linda 

Journey to Freedom

Flags at Cabramatta: Australia and South Vietnam, 2015

30 April, 2015: Today marks 40 years since the end of the controversial Vietnam War that ended in 1975. To some, it may be a day of celebration as some would call it "Reunification Day" as South and North Vietnam were on its way to unify and become one. 

Among many others like my family, it's a day to commemorate the Fall of Saigon. What was then the capital city of South Vietnam, Saigon, was then re-named to Ho Chi Minh City as it fell over to the communist regime of North Vietnam. This regime was what the South Vietnamese fought hard against for decades, but unfortunately left defeated. 

As a result of this, was a large diaspora of the Vietnamese people around the world. The influx of refugees did not only come from Vietnam, but also included other Indo-Chinese countries such as Laos and Cambodia when times were also turbulent. 

These people had lost faith in their homeland and risked their lives as they began their journey to freedom in foreign land. Most of them traveled by small overcrowded fishing boats. They weren't exactly sure where they were going and making it out on the other side alive was not guaranteed, but they took the risk anyway. 

Among these "boat people", was my mother. She managed to flee Vietnam and eventually resettle into Australia after staying in a refugee camp with one of her sisters and one niece.  

And then I was born. I was the first person in my family to be born and grow up in a country outside Vietnam. There's no reason why I shouldn't feel fortunate and grateful to be born and experience the comforts of growing up in Australia. 

One of the real heroes at the time was the late Malcolm Fraser who played a key role in having a big enough heart to open the doors for the Indo-Chinese refugees into Australia. If it wasn't for him, the descendants of Vietnamese refugees just like myself wouldn't even be here today, literally. So, for that, I'm forever thankful. 

My mum doesn't really talk about this stuff in detail with me about the Vietnam War and her journey to Australia, so she may think I'm oblivious to these important events. Although, I may have taken it forgranted growing up not fully understanding the circumstances on where my mother came from and why so many films, literature and highschool studies had so much emphasis on the Vietnam War and the extent of controversy it caused.

Now that I'm older and continue to grow, I make time to continue to learn and understand more about my roots while learning to have more compassion about world issues, especially when the asylum seeker issue still applies today. 

The Vietnamese or Indo-Chinese community experienced a lot of struggle and hardship, meanwhile copping criticism. Especially at one point when we were perceived as a nuisance "swamping Australia with Asians" who have "their own culture and religion, form ghettos and do not assimilate". So, I'm proud to see how far we came as a community to help transform Australia into the diverse country it is today. 

Having discussions with a lot of my Vietnamese friends from my generation made me realise how very few knew anything about the Vietnam War. I find it as an insult to those who risked (and lost) their lives fighting for freedom by not understanding or appreciating a little bit of our history. I may not be fully knowledgeable but neither am I too ignorant. And, that's the least I can do for mine and the next generation. 

Forty years since the Fall of Saigon, and people outside the country are still fighting against the current government in favour for democracy in Vietnam. You will never see the yellow flag with red stripes which represents South Vietnam in Vietnam anymore but we still like to rep it around the world with pride. And, Ho Chi Minh City will always be Saigon to us. 

Anyway, be thankful with where you are now but never forget where you came from and how far you have come, especially for your parents. 

Lots o' Love, Linda 

My mother (L) with fellow protesters making noises against the communist government of Vietnam in Canberra (30 April, 2011). 

Cleaning Out My Closet

I'm currently in the process of downsizing my excess of possessions. I must admit, it has been quite a struggle but very liberating at the same time. I'm not fortunate to have a big room but I have accumulated too much stuff over the years which has ultimately led me to a state of unhappiness and a room full of clutter. I guess you can also say I'm quite a hoarder. 

I've been feeling quite stressed and seeing so many things fill up my room but are usually left untouched is quite overwhelming. I've been inspired by some online articles such as this one from Harvard Magazine and videos I've seen on YouTube about minimalism and downsizing. The following quote from the online article really got me thinking; 

"Buddhists say that desire for things, including material goods, is a root cause of suffering. And in Walden, Henry David Thoreau, class of 1837, makes clear his view: "Most of the luxuries and many of the so-called comforts of life are not only not indispensable, but positive hindrances to the elevation of mankind."

Hence, I've finally made my first step. Although the process is quite slow for me (I need a bit of time), it's getting easier each time. 

Just like most of us, there really isn't any real reason why I have an overflowing wardrobe, especially when I'm not really a "fashionista" nor do I find much joy in shopping. So, I guess it's finally time to let go of stuff that are useless, holds no value nor make me feel happy. 

Meanwhile, I also aim to be more conscious and have more self-control with my shopping in general (especially clothes, shoes and cosmetics) with determination to get more wear out of my current clothes that I'd actually still wear again. 

Less Stuff = Less Stress! 

Most of the clothes on this rack are clothes I would actually still wear again. 

Letting go of some of my books is my biggest challenge. 

A fraction of my shoes under my desk. I'm running out of space! 

The following video by RyMingTahn was the very first video that I watched that ultimately inspired me. 




If you need further inspiration, check out The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up.

Lots o' Love, Linda 

Uncool People Unite

Image via Instagram: @dark_musings_

This is AMAZING! Love reading everyone's input for this movement created by Nicole Alvarez and Tamar Levine. It serves to remind us to never compare someone's social media highlight reel to our "behind the scenes." Cause as amazing as everyone else's lives may appear to be, just like me and you, they also struggle with their own insecurities or quirks that are considered "uncool" which are usually well hidden. 

After spending some time reading people's posts, it made me realise how much we have in common on what we think are our imperfections. Yet, we all struggle with the same kind of anxiety that stops us from being open about it. We are often made to compete with one another and sugarcoat our everyday struggle, mostly in fear of judgement. I think the world will be a much better place and will bring people closer together if we were allowed to open up. Don't you think? 

Here is my contribution to the campaign that I've posted on Instagram:

 

It's taken me some courage to post this, cause apparently, social media is no place to discuss our insecurities/problems/struggles and when we do, we get labelled as "attention seekers", negative or ungrateful people. By not posting this defeats the whole purpose of this WeAreAllUncool movement that I'm 100% behind, and being open about things that make us vulnerable without fear of judgement unites us and may save people's lives. 

I may lose some "cool points" after this, but here we go. Here are 3 things that make me uncool; 

1. I have troubles with letting people into my life. I've built a strong wall around me. I get anxious when people get closer and shut people out almost immediately cause I feel I'm never worthy enough for some reason. 
2. I am my own worst enemy so I'm very hard on myself and have issues with forgiving myself for past mistakes. I constantly replay past scenarios in my head wishing that I was smarter and made better decisions. Unfortunately, I seem to allow my past mistakes define me. 
3. To this day, I'm very self-conscious about my physical image because I'm a part of a superficial society that puts a lot of value on someone's appearance. I'm not genetically blessed, I suffer from acne, I have the most crooked teeth (braces are sort of helping but I still have a LONG way to go), and I have such itty bitty titties which society constantly disapproves. No one has ever caught me in a bathing suit/bikini on its own at the pools/beach mainly for this reason. I enjoy being at the beach but I'm still not game enough. 

So there you have it. I lack self-confidence and I have anxiety issues, but I'm working on them (slowly). #wearealluncool

Lots o' Love, Linda 

All in on Love

I can't get over at how amazing and inspiring this commencement speech that John Legend delivered at The University of Pennsylvania's 258th commencement ceremony. 

The following is probably my most favourite part of his speech; 

"Think about that. It's a pretty radical notion. It means your daughter or son, your neighbor's daughter or son and the daughters and sons of people who live thousands of miles away, all deserve the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. 

It means we let go of fear and see each other's humanity. It means we don't see Trayvon Martin as a walking stereotype, a weaponized human. We see him as a boy who deserves the chance to grow into a man, even if he makes boyish mistakes along the way. It means American lives don't count more than Iraqi lives. 

It means we see a young Palestinian kid not as a future security threat or demographic challenge, but as a future father, mother and lover. It means that the nearly 300 kidnapped girls in Nigeria aren't just their problem. They're "our" girls too. It's actually quite a challenge to love humankind in this way.

Professor Cornel West gives us a word for what this kind of love looks like in public. That word is justice.

If you're committed to loving in public, it requires you opening your eyes to injustice, to see the world through the eyes of another. This is not a passive activity. You have to read. You have to travel to other neighborhoods, other parts of the world. You may have to get your hands dirty. You have to allow people to love you, and you have to love them back." 

I love when people try to instill in others to open their minds to someone who speaks, looks, and thinks differently from you. It opens up a whole new world, challenges your assumptions and allows you to see the world through a different lens. Empathy is a beautiful thing. 

On a more personal note, every minute is now a minute closer to the end of my degree (yes, I'm finally finishing sooner than later!). For those who don't know, the decision to go to university at a mature age was a difficult choice on my part (yes, I am quite old), and I definitely sacrificed a lot of other areas of my life just to be here. It was a struggle. And, sometimes I began to wonder along the way if it was a wise choice after all. 

However, time has flown and the most important thing was I DID NOT give up, and that's a huge achievement. I've completely changed from the person I was when I began university in 2011. And, considering how much time I've invested to be here and now that it's finally ending, saying that I will not miss uni is definitely not true.  

Anyway, this speech actually felt like he was personally speaking to me, but this is definitely something everyone should take the moment to take in.

Lots o' Love, Linda