Swallowing My Pride

Mindframe 

So in late Feb/early March, with a little push from my bro, I finally decided to swallow my pride to seek professional help about my mental health. I've been struggling for some time now (4+ yrs) and even though I recognised the signs of mental health risk, I forced myself to suffer in silence and battle my inner demons alone.

I'm very well aware that I'm not the only one who has problems nor do I think I have it the worst, but the stigma around mental illness was and still is very strong. No matter how much my mental health was out of whack, I completely underestimated its effects of leaving it unaddressed or untreated.

My past attempts of reaching out to "friends" about it all backfired cause they trivialised how I felt or what I was going through, even before giving me a chance to speak. Been told things like: 

"you're not the only one who has problems",

"if you think you're the only one who has problems then all the best in life to you", and

"if you hear about my problems or what I've been going through, then you will realise that your problems aren't so bad." 

Even toxic positivity thoughts like "just think positive" is damaging. Because of these responses, I was reluctant to open up and then eventually led myself to a depressive disorder.

I really wish I was one of those mentally stable and strong people who can overcome depression or mental health issues without professional help, but I'm not one of them.

My biggest regret is not seeking help a lot earlier. I also regret not continuing my counselling sessions at the age of 17 when I had a sudden breakdown. When I saw people in my grade literally laughing at the idea of counselling, it prevented me from speaking to the counsellor again. Would've made a huge difference to my first few years post-highschool.

If and when you're struggling, please speak to someone you trust. If you can't, I highly encourage you to speak to your GP. You also don't need a "valid" reason or apparent justification like experiencing a tragic or traumatising event. Nor do you need to be in really bad circumstances. Nor do you need to be at crisis point. It doesn't have to make sense.

Lots o' Love, Linda