Sometimes, Listening is the Answer

Instagram: @RUOKDay 

Shoutout to my former self for not admitting that I wasn't happy when only two of my friends asked me if I was. Damn, I was foolish back then. I really tried to convince myself that I was but couldn't bring myself to be honest.

However over the years, I have made attempts to a few people to tell them I was struggling. Some responses were straight up invalidation and dismissed my struggles (even before giving me a chance to speak).

But what really upsetted me the most was when a few other people I tried to reach out to simply suggested to "just go get a boyfriend", "get a rich husband and you won't have to worry about anything" or "get a boyfriend so you can stand there and look pretty." I kid you not, people have said that to me. It's an absolute cop out!

I know love makes the world go round but I can assure you, this is NOT the solution to your struggles. Even for someone like me who wasn't in a healthy mind space knew that.

It's been ingrained in us since at a young age that having a romantic partner is the ultimate goal and is a success indicator. Seeking a relationship to validate your worthiness while you have low self-esteem and no sense of self awareness is not the way to go. Giving someone else the responsibility to make you feel happy and secure cause you're insecure by yourself and fear being alone is pretty selfish. Defining yourself via your relationship status will lead to unnecessary problems.

Love yourself first. Self awareness is most important. We weren't taught this growing up. It's no wonder people become co-dependent and fall into toxic relationships. This applies to both genders. It's time to unlearn the whole romantic fantasy idea of being in love and empower more self love and emotional intelligence. It's absolutely crucial regardless of being in a relationship or not.

Anyways, if someone is reaching out and admitting they're struggling, most of the time, they just want you to give them a safe space for them to talk and for you to listen without judgement. No need to find a solution right away. It really is that simple.

If you or anyone you know needs help. The following support services are available. Contact: 

• Lifeline Australia on 13 11 14
• Kids Help Line on 1800 551 800
• Mens Line Australia on 1300 789 978
• Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467
• Beyond Blue on 1300 22 46 36
• Headspace on 1800 650 890
• Reachout Australia at au.reachout.com

IF IN IMMEDIATE DANGER, DIAL 000

Lots o' Love, Linda

Tired of being strong, please let me be weak for a minute

Instagram: @beyondblueofficial 

When I recently opened up to two separate key people in my life about my depression, both never saw it coming nor had any suspicions. For some reason, I didn't think I was disguising it THAT well. I guess it was cause for the most part, I continued to get dressed, go to work, put on makeup, eat regularly, leave the house, go to places, keep in touch with loved ones but at the same time, my mind was deadass disordered. Most of my symptoms appeared behind closed doors away from the world to see.

And then it starts showing up externally. My performance was slipping but it was mistaken as laziness. My lack of communication and socialising was mistaken for being busy. Just goes to show how prevalent high functioning depression is and how easily it is to overlook possible warning signs, cause for the most part, it's harder to detect.

Those who are dealing with high functioning depression usually look like they have it all together on the surface. They carry on with work, socialise and get things done but mentally, they're struggling, big time. Eg: celebrities.

Allow this to prompt you to check in with all your loved ones (yourself included)! Don't wait till R U OK? Day 12 September 2019 to start a conversation! And most importantly, listen. 

And definitely see your doctor. I've learned more about myself and mental health since the start of my healing journey with a professional than a few YouTube videos from influencers with 1 million followers sharing their experiences and suggestions, cause our life experiences and how we respond to things are all different. And don't forget, depression ain't the only mental health disorder!

If you or anyone you know needs help. The following support services are available. Contact: 

• Lifeline Australia on 13 11 14
• Kids Help Line on 1800 551 800
• Mens Line Australia on 1300 789 978
• Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467
• Beyond Blue on 1300 22 46 36
• Headspace on 1800 650 890
• Reachout Australia at au.reachout.com

IF IN IMMEDIATE DANGER, DIAL 000

Lots o' Love, Linda

World Refugee Day 2019

On World Refugee Day, I'm sending thanks to the REAL MVPs.

• Former Prime Minister, Gough Whitlam for abolishing the White Australia Policy and embraced a multicultural Australia.

• Former Prime Minister, Malcolm Fraser for respecting international obligations and implemented a refugee policy to resettle Indo-Chinese refugees into Australia. The influx of these refugees post White Australia Policy was the first real test to multiculturalism and since then, Australia has become more diverse than ever.

• My refugee family resettled into Australia under Prime Minister Bob Hawke so thank you for continuing Fraser's legacy in responding to humanitarian crises with commitment and compassion.

• Fraser was a Liberal during his leadership; he however defected in later years and heavily criticised against the Liberal government's inhumane treatment to current asylum seekers and refugees. And damn, our government is despicable.

If it weren't for the significant work from these former leaders, I literally would not be here today, in Australia, enjoying my freedoms and human rights. These are basic and intangible but precious things that I hold dear, especially when so many people around the world are legit risking their lives to fight for their freedom and human rights.

I will continue to watch our government like a hawk and stand in solidarity with all those displaced; asylum seekers and refugees, regardless of their race and beliefs. 

Also importantly, I will treat them with respect as humanitarian migrants, not economic migrants.

Lots o' Love, Linda

Share a Meal, Share a Story

 

When we look back at refugee success stories, we tend to look towards no other than Cabramatta aka "Vietnamatta". Infamous for being the enclave of Indo-Chinese refugees. Also infamous for being a crime zone during the 90s cause refugees were forced to go into survival mode, perhaps due to government policy failure. Very pleased at how much the community here overcame adversity to build a new life for themselves and improved their public image as a refugee community.

Let's not forget that this didn't happen overnight. It took years... decades. I must mention this because I think it's incredibly unfair to expect current asylum seekers and refugees to have English communication skills, be "job ready" and to have a job offer right off the bat upon arrival to their new resettled country (and then have Australians complain about refugees "stealing" their jobs).

I also think it's unfair to expect asylum seekers and refugees to be super smart, super human, super productive and super successful to prove themselves to be "worthy" and valuable to be granted asylum.

Over recent years, I've gotten into discussion with a few first generation immigrant friends, only to find out how much they hate refugees. Refugees get blamed for everything. Little did they know that I'm a daughter of one... and damn proud of it too! No shame!

Hope everyone takes the time to understand what it means to be an asylum seeker and a refugee. No one actually chooses the circumstances to become one.

Lots o' Love, Linda 

Refugee Week 2019

In honour of Refugee Week (#withrefugees), I want to thank this Australian gentlemen pictured in the middle. 🙂

He played a key role in helping my Vietnamese Boat People fam integrate into Australian society. I believe (but could be wrong) that he was a part of Australia's Community Refugee Settlement Scheme (CRSS) which was Australia's first community sponsorship model which ran from 1979-1997.

Community groups and everyday individuals offered to initially support the resettlement and integrate 30,000 refugees from Indo-China (Vietnam, Cambodia and Laos), but later expanded to include all refugees from other parts of the world.

Australia no longer runs this program but is currently running a Community Support Program (CSP) which is much more flawed and in much need of a reform since it prioritises economic factors instead of humanitarian needs.

The government should really consider more options for community involvement and sponsorship to resettle refugees, in addition to its committment and responsibility to the refugee and humanitarian program.

Let's always remember that asylum seekers and refugees are not the same as economic migrants, so shouldn't be treated as such.

Lots o' Love, Linda